Let me be real with you all.
Some days are just plain foul.
Some days are just going to send you into a tailspin and leave you crying, “do over!!!” to no one in particular, and often to the Father.
No matter what kind of forward stride you think you’ve made with your depression, some days it tries to remind you that it can take you backwards in a heartbeat.
Last week I got real with you all in a FB live and this blog post here, talking about how the Lord doesn’t waste the struggle, but will use it, and I also joined hundreds of thousands of Canadians talking about depression and our stories for #BellLetsTalk Day…
And the worst part is that I could do it all again this week… because although the special media emphasis has past, the depression will continue to wreak havoc.
So story time.
We get news of a loved one dealing with uncharted illness.
And we struggle with the why’s and how’s.
We learn something unsettling about our kids.
And we hit our knees in a panic.
We hear rumours at work about layoffs and downsizing.
And a thousand thoughts and fears take over our brains.
Our hearts pound.
Our focus falters.
Our faith takes a beating.
How do we keep going?
It had just been one of those weeks. Where the pleasant and all the unpleasant combine and at the end you’re left wondering which way is up.
A tangle of graduation plans for our youngest, photos waiting for editing that I could never get to, a cold to fend off (thank you elderberry extract and vitamin C with zinc), dinners to arrange and attend, laundry to search for (where do the socks keep going???) and errands galore on zero sleep once again. Insomnia not withstanding, I foolishly thought I was managing it all.
But the house started to resemble a war zone caked in rampant dog hair, my to-do lists danced while sleep evaded, and I’m pretty sure there was a point where I sat down in my bedroom alone to cry but tears ended up just being way too much work.
I needed chocolate, make no mistake, and I needed it yesterday.
At the end of the bed was my Bible so I hugged it to my chest and thought, “yes, this is right. He’s going to commiserate with me in this, and then all of this will change.”
Oh, when will I learn that His ways are not my ways.
I’m delighted to have my friend Bethany as my guest today!
I first met Bethany through a twitter linkup a year ago and she was so generous with her friendship and her encouragement online. And to have her here being generous and encouraging and real with her words today is the best way I could think of to start my week! Will you give her a warm welcome and share her words with someone today?
There are days life is a mess.
Like the morning I spilled three glasses of water, got hot chocolate all over my clothes, ripped my lunch bag and forgot my needed sweater.
The mess got to my heart next.
Within the hour I was at work in a special needs classroom. A student, twice my size, was spread out starfish style on the floor throwing a fit. My heart was flustered, unsure of how to help and what the student needed.
Frazzled by the mess of the day, I was just quietly asking “Lord?”