Christine Duncan

Precepts & Life Preservers

Tag: living with dysthymia

Looking For Life

Looking for Life... the daily struggle to rise above poor mental health and Who will gives us life in return...

It was all I could do not to run back to bed that morning.

I was having a hard time starting my day. For no real reason except this is what the dysthymic brain does.

Instead of feeling alive, I felt this underlying current of agitation, thick brain fog, the need to hide out, knowing if I tried to get up I’d be completely off my game.

After three years now with my diagnosis, I know this is just my brain talking. But it’s also so much more. It’s a complete disabling of reason, it’s a kind of shutting-down that is chemicals and transmitters and broken mood not easily fixed.

I don’t type all this so you’ll feel pity. I type all this because I know there are others.

And I’ve learned that sometimes to get to a good place mentally, you have to get to a good place physically.

And vice versa.

Continue reading

Lord Meet Me

It’s a new year and I wasn’t going to post today.

I was going to take the day to slouch around the house, catch up on other people’s blogs, hang with the fam.

But I can’t shake the desire to have something in writing to hang my 2015 on. To dedicate the words and thoughts and experiences that will wander in and out of this blog, and as a result, my life, and possibly yours if you’re reading along.

And what I want to build my 2015 on, daily, is a very simple request. It emerges from my soul, makes my heart skip a little, and might just make the biggest difference to each day of 2015.

These three words will change your new year too.

And they’re quite simply;

Lord, meet me.

Lord, meet me in the stillness of a new morning. For it’s in the morning that I need you as foundation, and Friend. When You meet with me, deep unto deep, I find myself focused on you and not the worries and anxiety. You exude unshakable peace, and faithfulness.

Lord, meet me.

Lord, meet me in the middle of my circumstances. You are my Life Preserver, the Good Shepherd, Creator King. Nothing is bigger than You. So meet me there? So that I can see with my heart’s eyes that everything pales in comparison. So that I can remember how small it looks next to Your immediate and faithful Presence. In the middle of the chaos, You restore holy order. You calm the seas with one word. Meet me in the middle, while it rages, and compel me to step out of the boat and keep my eyes on you.

Lord, meet me.

When the fog rolls over me, when anxiety won’t quit that day, when the depression wants to yank away the sure and the good, Lord, meet me there. When the dysthymia blocks my line of sight, and I can no longer see, hear, or feel You, meet me there. Deep down, meet me where, buried under all the chronic D,┬áthere is still a current of belief, that flows and carries the truth that You press the lost and wounded to your Shepherd’s heart, and that my definition of healing and time and joy are different from Yours, and not dependent on how I feel. In the mess of brain chemicals shifting, You are never shifted. Meet me there, and teach me to trust You beneath the surface of whatever comes at me. Meet me in the provision You supply, so I am strengthened by it.

Lord, meet Me.

Meet me in the celebrations, in the adventures, in the declarations.

Meet me when the highs can take one’s breath away and remind me of Your mercies new every morning, and how You dance and sing over Your children, that You are a God of Miracles still.

Meet me when I’m tempted to take the credit, nudge me with Your grace, and teach me to give all Glory to You. For we can do nothing apart from You.

Meet me there in that space where there’s no other option but to worship You in all your good faithfulness and provision.

Lord, meet me.

Before I type the words to the world, before I thread together what I think I know about You, meet me. Meet me before I blog, so that I can be a sure representation of Your promises and precepts. So that what I write is not based on what I’ll get back at all, but based on the principle of the loaves and fishes. Meet me so it’s Your Hand on the page. Your Voice on the computer screen. Your realness made real.

So that the hearts that read decide to pick up the call and say from their same heart’s depths;

“Lord meet me.”

The words encompass everything, invite Him into everything, and are not swayed by anything.

This is the foundation solution for 2015. Him, and only Him.

And so I’ll end my first post of the new year right here because, well….

There’s someone I’ve got to meet.

© 2019 Christine Duncan

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑

%d bloggers like this: