It alludes me.
And not just because I can only drink chocolate milk from a glass as opposed to plastic, or because I can’t stand the song Patio Lanterns, or because I grew up thinking musical pork chops was a real game.
And now you’re dying to hear about that last one, aren’t you?
But because when you learn to live with a mood disorder that wants to turn what’s considered normal upside down, or erase how you’ve always defined normal all together, you figure out pretty quickly how to shed all expectation and get down to the business of recognizing what your normal might have to look like from here on out.
I want you to know that a self-care kind of day is perfectly okay.
This post was originally just some content for the facebook page this morning. But I feel like maybe it should go here too.
Maybe this is for you.
There might be someone feeling a little less-than because their depression or disorder/illness has scrambled their day once again.
And it’s easy to think that you’ve failed. That it’s no use.
But it’s not true.
“This is feeling impossible!” I’m saying to myself in a fit.
My husband snores beside me, completely oblivious.
It’s 3 AM and I’m just… awake.
Thoughts, and prayers, and snores, and unresolved items, and worries surround my brain, no matter how hard I try to just be.
One of the many phantom pains that can flare with chronic depression, a physical symptom to the brain’s neurotransmitters off-kilter, sweeps along my right hip and back again, as it has all day.
And in the stillness it’s far more noticeable than during the day when I could distract myself.
“And it doesn’t help my situation any, Lord.”
And I’m unsure if the latest bout of insomnia is a result of my chronic D or if it’s the first hurdle in a fresh episode of dysthymia on its way. There’s no way of knowing which one.
Did you know that your worst days can be your fuel?
Did you know that your worst days can actually be the tool that gives up the most authentic results?
If you’ve read this blog at all, you know I write about some of the hardest parts of the day-to-day, and today is no exception.
But if you hear anything today, hear this;
Even on our worst days, God the Father has the overwhelming ability to minister and restore… a taking-back, a lifting out, a full-on redeeming of your immediate circumstance.