Christine Duncan

Love, Laughter, Life Preservers

Same Cry, Same Answer

Some days more than others, I can feel it.

The heavy wet blanket approaching, threatening to encase me and bring me low.

The chronic D advancing into my day, inching forward, lurking.

Maybe you know the feeling.

Depending on what stage the heavy wet blanket rolls in, depends on how I start calling on the Life Preserver to keep me from sinking.

Depending on how hard the dysthymia comes at me depends on how able I am to ask for more of His presence, His strength, His healing.

Sometimes I can still fight the fog, the heaviness to stay in the Word, to pray, to gather in close to Him and wait it out.

But sometimes the surging misfires from my brain try to tell me I’m done for the day. In essence, I become paralyzed. Zombie-like.
“What do I do again? I know there’s something I do for this… there’s got to be … but… I’m too tired to think…”

And you could walk past your Bible a hundred times, but your brain won’t recognize it, and eventually you can’t stay upright anyway because your body becomes inexplicably heavy, and words become dismay, and saying them exhausting.

Not a great picture to paint, is it?

And this chronic D isn’t even major depression, this is slightly less intense, but rolls in and out more frequently like a wavy sort of rhythm. So your thoughts go from, “okay, here comes another wave, Lord” to the most helpless cry that echoes the same cry from David in the Psalms, “Lord, Lord, why have you forsaken and abandoned me today?”

And I used to be ashamed at that desperate cry, the one cried foul, the cry that implies I have no faith, or that I believe He’s vanished when everything else tells me He’s there, that I know better. That it’s a weak and wimpy sort of cry, and you don’t tell anyone else you cry it out, or they’ll judge you.

The first cry seems brave. Resolute. Trusting. “Okay, Father, You have never failed me yet, I’m going to let you fight this for me. I’m going to believe.”

That other cry smacks of defeat. The ugliness of that one word makes us cringe. Especially when we’re supposed to be children of Almighty God. And we assume He must cringe hearing it yet again from our lips. And then guilt accompanies the only cry we’re able to cry.

This is how a spiraling down occurs.

And where the enemy hopes you and I’ll stay.

Until the Lord reminded me of this one powerful truth.

Which the enemy hopes we’ll forget. And we do.

That David was pouring out then the same words that the coming Messiah would later on a cross.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken and abandoned me!?”

And the fog lifts a little.

Because He knows.

He’s tasted the same words. It is the same cry. It IS the same cry. From the same tortured heart. Directed at the same Father. The same despair touched Him. The same exhaustion touched Him.

It’s the same cry.

Weary, wounded, desperate heart. If you hear one thing today, hear this…

The same cry receives the same answer.

Say it again.

The same cry receives the same answer.

God responded in a very definite way then, and He will respond in a very definite way, now.

God responded in a very definite way then, and He will respond in a very definite way, now. Click To Tweet

Jesus lifted up His pain and anguish, cried out words that needed answering, and the answer God responded with?

Shook the earth.

Blew a grave apart.

Pulsed life-giving Light into every dark corner.

AND RAISED HIM UP.

And our same cry receives the same answer.

“and God raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.…”

And Ephesians 2:6,7 now reads like a glorious and triumphant declaration, and promise, and not just a matter of fact and eternity.

It’s the same answer, for the same cry.

And like David, in Psalm 22: 21 (b), after he asked God in anguish to draw near, to rescue him, we can say with absolute truth, ” You have answered me, Lord!”

He answers. With an answer that is capable of defeating defeat, of raising up the impossible, of blowing apart the things that hold us down.

And I don’t have to be ashamed of the desperate cry.

Nor do you.

We can take solace in the fact that while we cry, while we wait for that answer, He is working. He is preparing. He is accomplishing something incredible.

That He is the God of restoration and redemption and rescue.

Even when we can’t see Him. In the depression. In the sickness. In the unemployment. In the grief. In the loneliness. In the rejection. In the anxiety. In the exhaustion. He’s there, beginning His good works in the midst.

Readying to do the impossible.

We don’t have to be ashamed to cry the same cry anymore.

He’s only waiting, anticipating, preparing to give you His glorious answer.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

This post gladly links up to #LiveFreeThursday with Suzie Eller! At the end of her post there, you’ll find a group of talented bloggers all sharing their hearts in the same linkup. Feel free to join us!

 

15 Comments

  1. Christine,
    Thank you so much for your honesty and transparency. I can relate to the feeling of spiraling downward, out of control. When I listen to the lies of the evil one, I start to believe in my heart that they are true. Then the depression sets in deep and heavy. When I lift my eyes and look to Christ, then he strengthens me with hope. It is always helpful to know that I am not alone.
    Blessings,
    Kamea
    incrementalhealing.wordpress.com

    • Christine Duncan

      February 26, 2015 at 1:30 PM

      Love having you visit the blog, Kamea, thanks so much! It’s true, eyes on Him, and He becomes the every answer we need. If not for our faith, what would depression do to us, I hate to think about it? But God holds us in the palm of His hand, preserves us, and empowers us. Yay!

  2. Girlfriend you hit me in the head… how’d you know? I’m sitting here at my desk trying really hard not to cry, wishing that I could. I’ve been down this road several times, but lately it’s worse. I’m hitting that magic number where my child bearing days are numbered so I’ve wondered if that is part of it. Of course that doesn’t help when the world feels like it’s upside down and I’m chicken little and the sky is falling and no-one believes me and surely God is tired of hearing it.

    Thank you this was a huge help.

    I’m hid with Christ!
    Shawn

    • Christine Duncan

      February 26, 2015 at 2:40 PM

      Aw, Shawn, you’ve been a great encouragement to me, so I’m grateful the post has been an encouragement back. God knows when we need to receive truth from Him. Do you know, I nearly didn’t write this down today? He was asking me to, and I almost didn’t listen. Apparently He had other plans 🙂 Isn’t that God for you?!!
      I’ll be lifting you in prayer throughout the week, and praying He lift you up out of the valley and set your feet on higher ground and flood you with His presence!
      Much love to you Shawn, seriously grateful!

  3. Thank you Christine, you always are a blessing and I’m glad you wrote it down. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who needs this today. If so, well then Praise The Lord I’m willing to be the guinea pig for His Glory… You my beautiful sister keep writing you bless way more people than you could ever imagine~

    I’m hid with Christ!
    Shawn

  4. What a blessing you are! You have, “where the rubber meets the road” kind of faith!

    • Christine Duncan

      February 26, 2015 at 5:22 PM

      I think this journey takes me into a “searching deeper” kind of faith I used to take for granted… He keeps “keeping it real” when I get distracted, that’s for sure!

  5. So glad you shared this. He never tires of our asking for help. He loves us and knows what suffering is like. We never have to be ashamed to ask for help. May God bless you richly, Christine. Your posts are so refreshing to read.

    • Christine Duncan

      February 26, 2015 at 6:05 PM

      Aw, thank you Gayl!!! What you say is so true about His knowing our suffering.
      I think sometimes we wonder if He’s tired of hearing our cry… but the Word says He delights in us because He rescued us! This tells me to lay my shame aside, and call out. For He loves to supply. That part of what His grace does for us! I get excited to think of that.
      Grateful for your kind words, friend!

  6. Christine, love your words today that we don’t have to be ashamed of our desperate cries! Thank you for your encouragement to #livefree. Have a great day!

    • Christine Duncan

      February 26, 2015 at 6:14 PM

      Kim, seriously appreciate you visiting! Depending on the day, some cry’s are more desperate than others, but He stays faithful! Have a wonderful evening, and thanks again!!!

  7. Christine, I haven’t been able to keep up with your blog like I would like, because of my own crazy life, but today, I felt I should read it. God had just the right person in mind for it, a friend who was really hurting. I sent it to her and she even shared it on FB. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and allowing the Lord to use you!

    • Christine Duncan

      February 26, 2015 at 8:56 PM

      Wow, Beth, that’s amazing to know that God was working out a special timing on that, and I’m incredibly humbled. Please let your friend know I’ll be placing her in my prayers this evening, that God would continue to reveal Himself to her and shower her with His provision in her life. And I’m so happy to hear from you, I totally understand life being insane. Very grateful that you popped by!!! Lord bless and keep you close to His side!

  8. Christine, How beautiful! Yes, we serve a God who restores and redeems! The same cry…beautiful. #WriteOn #livefree!

    • Christine Duncan

      February 26, 2015 at 11:01 PM

      Thank you so much Ellen! Wonderful to hear from you! Have a fabulous weekend, so glad to have linked up today 🙂 #livefree! #WriteOn

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