A Psalm, Dysthymia, and Me
Not that long ago I tweeted this sentence: “Ever had something confirmed for you, and even though it’s not the nicest news, the confirmation is empowering?… ya, that!”
I had finally been given a final diagnosis of Dysthymic Disorder, otherwise known as chronic Depression. And it was empowering. Because for 28 years I had assumed I was just a messed up person with zero productivity, zero patience, and zero joy, pretending in public to be the complete opposite. But my diagnosis removed those beliefs and released me from guilt, self loathing, and exhaustion trying to prove otherwise.
Now I was simply a wife, mom, daughter, sister, mentor and friend with a mood disorder. It had a name. And I could survive it. Live in spite of it. This was empowering.
Little did I know how God had designs for me to share all of this. Publicly no less. I was challenged to blog about it all. And in all my devotions, along with a vision of raging seas and people clinging to life preservers, came this group of verses, over and over.
“Your word Oh Lord is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens. Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures.
Your laws endure to this day, for ALL things serve you. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my AFFLICTION.
I will never forget your PRECEPTS, for by them you have PRESERVED MY LIFE.” Psalm 119:89-93 NIV
This theme is repeated throughout that one chapter several times… but what stood out was a promise. I lean on His precepts; the things that make God, God, and He preserves my life. Simple. His precepts, my life-preserver. And that’s what this blog is about. Depression is a giant ocean, sometimes the waves are barely there, sometimes they are enormous swells, and all you can do not to drown, is let the life-preserver do all the work, keeping you afloat.
Combined with a better understanding of how to navigate the waves, if we know THE Life Preserver, we’ll be okay. So let’s navigate together dear ones, with precepts and life preservers for all of us on the ocean of life.